A near transcript of a conversation with myself this morning. I probably wouldn't have posted on it, but then an older friend voiced some of the same thoughts a few hours later (verbatim) and I began reflecting on them again.
Call me selfish—I don't want to die.
"Is there a plausible reason why humans should die?"
There's all kinds of reasons I shouldn't want to. So let's consider this conclusion as significant personal progress toward mental health and move on.
"Come on. We can do better than that. Why do humans die?"
Hmm. Rocks are indestructible.
"Why not humans?"
Humans are life. Life takes a lot of energy to sustain it.
"So do stars. Why do humans live a fraction of a star's lifespan?"
Life is fragile. It's delicate. It wears out.
"Why? How is that an evolutionary advantage? Why? Why? Why?"
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking…
Because life evolves. Of course. I am the latest, greatest, and freshest. I hold the energy of the world in my fingertips. I am the promise of an unpredictable experiment, but one which is fast drawing to a close. By the end of a decade I will be quite molded in nearly all my ways, useful for maintaining the world I constructed only long enough for another generation or maybe two to take their chance. And then I will create room for them.
"Therefore, what is the meaning of life?"
The meaning of life is to establish more fit, more resilient life.
"Can one fail at life?"
No. To fail at life is simply to allow resources and energy to be made available for more fit, more resilient life.
"And what is the meaning of death?"
The meaning of death is to allow resources and energy to be made available for more fit, more resilient life.
"And a final question. How will I die?"
Humbly, knowing that I became fit and resilient at my chance in order to provide those after me with a new chance to thrive beyond what any of us can dream.
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