On Bars

I'm not quite sure what this post is about. Maybe it's about how last night, I met a girl who might, maybe, be me in a few years. She's the same age but somehow managed to hit the end while she was still living at home (an unthinkable feat in my mind). She was able to witness that, yes, it sucks, it destroys your world. And she was able to look at me and say—you can do it. You can put your life back together. You'll be ok.

Maybe this post is about how we then went to a bar with a group of friends. It was my first time in a bar, though of course I didn't drink. So maybe that's what this post is about—that over the last month, I've embraced the fact that I will never be able to just leave the traditions; that it's something I love too much and that has had too profound of an influence upon me to be able to walk away. Is it possible to participate in the church without advocating? It's been deeply instilled in me that no, this is inherently impossible. There are so many places I don't belong…

One Beginning

On July 12, 2011, a Christian at Olivet Nazarene University hit an end and would never be the same. That was about ten months ago. At the time, I took deep consolation from the blog Leaving Eden, written by a girl an hour up the road from me. In some ways this blog is started tonight with the same motivation as her: to extend consolation to those who have broken the boundaries of a Christian university culture and feel the isolation that accompanies. But in other ways my story is very different.

As I mentioned, it all really ended and began ten months ago. So unfortunately, the journey I've experienced since then may come out in bits and pieces. Sorry for all you obsessive chronological folk. :) At some point I may get around to writing out more of that history. Suffice to say, I started at atheism, then existentialism, then nihilism, then kind of evened out at agnosticism for a while. Most recently, I've taken up the label Christian agnostic. We shall see where that goes. In the meantime, I dedicate this blog to anyone else whose faith has, at some point, hit an end, and who has been faced with the overwhelming prospect of building a brand new worldview from scratch.